


Built My Life Around You

by runicmagitek



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble Sequence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-TLOU, Treat, Triple Drabble, pre-TLOU2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runicmagitek/pseuds/runicmagitek
Summary: “I feel like it neverwillget better.”“Hey.” He patted her shoulder before squeezing it. “It will, kiddo. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day. I promise.”Adjusting to Jackson is more work than Ellie thought it would be. Thankfully Joel is there to help.Or: Five times Ellie struggles with life in Jackson and one time she doesn't.
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67
Collections: Multifandom Drabble 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/gifts).



“Holy shit!”

She could almost _hear_ Joel rolling his eyes behind her.

“Keep it down, kiddo,” he murmured.

“But Joel!” She flailed at the endless tables in Jackson’s makeshift cafeteria. “Look at this!”

Four tables stationed for food didn’t technically equate to _endless_ , but after a year of surviving off scraps and crumbs left in forgotten drawers, anything seemed endless. Where did they even _get_ all the food?

Joel nudged her along before she could ask. Each person ahead grabbed their share, offered thanks, and found a spot to sit and eat. Some chatted together. Plenty of others stared her down, like she was infected.

Well, she _was_. But not like that.

Ellie rubbed her right forearm when she received her meal, when she sat down in a center table with Joel, Tommy, and his Jackson friends. She excused herself halfway through eating, her appetite gone before she filled her plate. Even then, she swiped fistfuls of jerky at the end of the serving area. Something to save for later in case she was hungry.

But her stomach didn’t guide her; sheer adrenaline lined her blood until it pumped in her ears.

She forgot the way back to the building they were calling home. Curling up behind a barrel in an alley, Ellie wrapped her arms around herself and breathed.

_Why did I do that?_ she wondered. _We_ _’re not on the run. These people aren’t going to hurt us. It’s alright. Joel said so._

The sun sank below the horizon by the time Joel found her, breathless and frantic. “The hell are you doing out here?”

She tried to blink away the tears. “I’m sorry.”

His face softened. Words failed her, but nothing else needed to be said; Joel embraced Ellie and stayed until the stars claimed the sky.


	2. Chapter 2

“Ellie—” Oh, lord, she knew it was serious shit if he used her name. “—you’re going to be a grump in the morning if you don’t get some sleep.”

She sat upright and groaned. “I’m at least _in_ bed. Doesn’t that count?”

He crossed his arms. “It’s time to call it a night.”

“But Joel—”

“Come on.” Heavy boots creaked across the wooden floors. “Let’s get you tucked in—”

“I can’t sleep, alright?”

He stopped. Ellie swallowed hard.

“You know,” she elaborated, “after sleeping in abandoned cars and stuff for a year, anything’s an upgrade, right?” She chuckled, albeit nervous and weak. Joel never twitched a muscle. She didn’t blame him. “I haven’t been sleeping well since we got to Jackson and… I just thought….” She toyed with the edges of the comic book. “If I’m not sleeping, I might as well do something beyond staring at the wall.”

She braced for herself for a lecture. It never came.

“Does it help?” Joel asked, as quiet as the night itself.

“What, staring at the wall?”

He gestured to her with his chin. “Nah, them comic stories of yours.”

Ellie shrugged. “It keeps my mind off of shitty things, so maybe? I don’t know.” She dropped her gaze to her lap. “Sometimes it’s nice to escape from reality, even for a little bit.”

Silence. Then, “Do you… mind if I joined you?”

Ellie scooted over. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Joel sat down and read along while Ellie devoured another volume. She spent more time explaining characters and plot arcs than progressing, but who was she to complain? So few in Jackson shared her enthusiasm for comics. So long as someone listened, wasn’t that enough?

Considering she woke up in Joel’s lap, only halfway through the volume, she liked to think it was.


	3. Chapter 3

“The hell did you do this time?”

Ellie scoffed and averted her gaze. “You say it like this happens all the time.”

“Well, considering it's the third time this week you’ve gotten into a fight with that Billy boy—” Joel circled around to catch her eye. “—yeah, I’d say you’re not too far from ‘all the time’ territory.”

“It’s not _that_ bad.”

“So you _didn_ _’t_ dislocate his shoulder?”

“Dipshit deserved it, though,” she muttered.

With an exhausted groan, Joel bent to eye level with Ellie. “People are telling me you’re snapping for no reason.”

“He started it! He and his dumb friends keep telling me I smell.”

“What?”

“Because I wear the same clothes several days in a row and—”

Joel buried his face in his hands and sighed. “You _do_ know you can wash up, right? We got soap and—”

“And the last time, I got yelled at for stealing _all_ the hot water.” She hated the way her voice cracked, just like she hated the bruises blooming on her knuckles and the threadbare clothes she insisted on wearing. “Sometimes I forget to do things other people do automatically. Then I remember and _try_ and people have to be fucking rude and—”

“Ellie. I get it.”

A pause, then she snorted. “What, do you forget to shower, too?”

He gave her a look, but his features softened.

“Sometimes,” Joel said, “it feels like we walked into another world when we came back to Jackson.”

“Pfff, tell me about it.”

“But I’d rather have this than be out there. I know it’s hard, but… this will be better for us.”

“I feel like it never _will_ get better.”

“Hey.” He patted her shoulder before squeezing it. “It will, kiddo. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day. I promise.”


	4. Chapter 4

The lack of silence suffocated her. Quiet meant no clickers or hunters or anything wanting to kill them. The absence of people didn’t help, either. The light bulbs buzzed and the buildings groaned in the wind. Conversations from the opposite side of Jackson echoed. It was in the scrapping of utensils, in the shuffle of feet passing her, in doors creaking open and faucets hissing on.

She screamed into her pillow more than she used it to sleep. No one else flinched at sounds they deemed normal. Why couldn’t she be like that? Go back to how she was in Boston?

Rubbing her right arm, Ellie hoped Joel was right about things getting better in time. Not just sleeping and her hygiene habits, but everything. The phantom ants crawling in her skin and the tension squeezing her lungs and the hideous voice in the back of her head telling her to watch out.

She hated it the most when it was Joel who startled her.

“Whoa, whoa.” He lifted his hands in surrender. “Easy, kiddo. Just me.”

Ellie gulped down breath, each inhale like swallowing glass. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out.”

He tilted his head and knitted his brows—like he always did when he was worried. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Joel turned to leave, then beckoned to her. “Come on, kiddo.”

Ellie blinked. “What?”

“Let’s get you some fresh air.”

She followed him, perking up slightly upon reaching the stables. At least Joel didn’t have a problem with borrowing horses—man, she couldn’t wait to be not a kid. Her worries faded as she rode out with Joel. Not a patrol—just wandering the trails.

And when they reached a cliff overlooking Jackson and beyond and watched the sunset together in silence, Ellie breathed easy again.


	5. Chapter 5

“Was it ever hard for you?”

The question escaped Ellie before she could swallow it down. Joel stopped tuning his guitar. Maybe he looked to her or at horizon melting from dusk to twilight. Ellie didn’t know; she sat on the front steps of his new house and hugged her knees.

“What’s eating at you, kiddo?” he asked, as gentle as the summer breeze.

 _What isn_ _’t?_ she wanted to quip back, but she knew his go-to lecture regarding _that_. Joel was probably as tired of giving it.

“Back when Outbreak Day happened,” Ellie eventually said, “and you tried to adjust. Like, going from survival mode to just living.” She craned her head back to him. “Was that a pain in the ass?”

Joel released a breath—something lost between a chuckle and a scoff. “Well, it certainly never got easy, I can tell you that. Some things just don’t change, no matter how hard you try to settle in.”

“Do you….” Ellie chewed her lip, struggling to hold eye contact. “Do you think living in Jackson will get easier? Not just the sleep or laundry or—”

“You still need to fold your share of clothes—”

“Oh my _god_. Not the point! I have control of that stuff, right? Sort of?” Joel nodded. “But everyone else living here?” Ellie shook her head and looked away. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe here.”

Footsteps approached her. Joel eased onto the steps beside Ellie and wrapped an arm around her.

“You want the truth?” he asked. “It still is difficult. Even now. Make the best of it. You can’t please everyone, but you can carve out a bit of it and call it yours.”

“I don’t know if that’ll happen.”

Joel hugged her tight. “It will, kiddo. You’ll make it happen.”


	6. Chapter 6

It had been Joel’s idea for some time, but Ellie opted to lock herself up in her room. Then Tommy found an untouched DVD collection during his patrols and word of mouth spoke of weekly movie nights. Watching the same five films forever didn’t appeal to Ellie.

“What about your comics?” Joel asked. “Don’t you read the same ones every day?”

“Uh, _excuse_ you. That is _not_ the same thing.”

Joel smirked at her incredulous tone. “If you say so.”

But when she heard about the superhero films? How could she _not_ attend that showing?

Joel was preoccupied with a board game night with Tommy and their friends—a perfect opportunity to sneak out. She didn’t expect the scent of real butter in the air. She didn’t expect the refurbished big screen TV. She didn’t expect the swarm of people she knew, yet didn’t. She didn’t expect to stare at the screen, five feet away with her jaw ajar as vivid characters traversed a pre-outbreak world. She didn’t expect the stories she loved on paper to translate beautifully in motion.

She didn’t expect to stay two hours after to chat with her peers about the special effects, the plot holes, and most importantly, which characters were totally banging.

She almost missed Joel borderline yelling her name.

He stood in the doorway, frantic in his search, only to relax upon finding her. Now if only he didn’t _grin_ like that.

“It’s not what you think!” Ellie exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

“Oh really?”

“We were just—”

“Watching a movie?”

“ _No_! Movie’s been over for a while. We—”

Joel chuckled. Ellie tried not glare daggers through him.

“Be back before sunrise, alright, kiddo?”

The softness in his request eased the tension in her muscles. Her lips curled up, then she nodded. “Okay.”


End file.
